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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24892423">Hate cuddles</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tall_wolf_of_tarth/pseuds/tall_wolf_of_tarth'>tall_wolf_of_tarth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cruise Ships, Enemies With Benefits, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Grammarly is my beta, Idiots in Love, Meadows at Tarth, Museums, OMG there was only one chair, Smut, Tarth, Texting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 07:28:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,082</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24892423</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tall_wolf_of_tarth/pseuds/tall_wolf_of_tarth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Enemies with benefits au. <br/>This fic is very fluffy and cuddly. Might be too cuddly. Wait, they are hardly enemies at all? Lots of texting and some fun dates. Some smut between the cuddles.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>437</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>“hey”</p><p>It's a booty call, realises Brienne immediately. No one sends simple <em>hey </em>at the middle of Saturday night unless it's a booty call. Especially Jaime Lannister, her nemesis from work, who until now has texted Brienne seven times before, each text variations of “<em>I'm late”</em>, <em> ”20 mins late”</em>, <em>  “which meeting room”</em>,  <em> “call me”  </em>  and one  <em> “I can't beleive u edited my slides tarth unacceptable will revenge this!!” </em></p><p>And now “hey”.</p><p>While she stares at that<em> “hey” </em>three dots appear under it.</p><p>“Want 2 come over?”</p><p>It's a booty call.</p><p>It's not exactly surprising. That <em>thing </em>had happened at Harrenhal. Two years of squabbling, arguing, working together, and then that horrid car accident and Jaime's injury, and some more arguing and working until all this tension culminated with quick and furious fuck in Jaime's hotel room. Brienne had come so hard that she had bitten Jaime's shoulder and blue fingerprints on her bum were still there a week later. It was a good fuck.</p><p>She's going to say yes, she knows. It's been months since Harrenhal and there hasn't been anyone else. But she wants to refuse by principle. They hate each other. Or maybe not exactly hate any more, but they are not friends. More like almost-friendly adversaries. Brienne doesn't want him to think that he can snap his fingers and she'll come running to him because then he'll be merciless in the office later.</p><p>“or text me ur address, i'll come”</p><p>Brienne starts writing her address, the phone pings again. And again. And again.</p><p>“and i'll make you come”</p><p>“twice”</p><p>“thats a promise”</p><p>She deletes what she has written. She doesn't want him here, to look at her home and make fun of her things. Her home is her safe place. She starts writing again and sees him typing again, but it's her who manages to send out the message first.</p><p>“Are we sexting now, Lannister?”</p><p>“yes” appears. She smiles. She is so fucked. Flash of <em>want</em> floods over her. Her hands are faster than her brain.</p><p>“Send me your address then.” she types and presses send before her rational brain can catch up.</p><p>There is typing, and then an address appears. It's not far from where she lives. Her phone pings again.</p><p>“cant wait 😘"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Gods damn kissy faces</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gods damn kissy faces</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for nice comments on previous chapter. I've read each and cherish them all!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Gods damn kissy faces</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Aww, Tarth, you didn't have to dress up for me,” smirks Jaime Lannister in his lavish hallway and leans to the door frame like some fucking god in sweatpants. Brienne, who is wearing old plaid pyjama pants and a patched sweater, rolls her eyes and pushes past Lannisters naked chest.</p><p>“A fucking kissy face? What was that about?”</p><p>She is supremely pissed off about the kissy face for some unknown reason.</p><p>“It was a promise,” Jaime chuckles and pulls her to his arms. His mouth finds her lips and his hands snake under her shirt and roam upwards. Brienne sighs into his mouth and pushes her fingers to his hair. Jaime has such a nice soft hair. Bastard.</p><p> </p><p>“What's in the bag, Tarth?” he asks as she drops her backpack to the floor.</p><p>“Condoms.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah, Lannister. No offence, but you're fucking Cersei, who is fucking Robert Baratheon and I wouldn't touch anything that has touched that pig with a long pole.” Something flashes in Jaime's eyes but then he smiles again -- like a shark -- and grinds himself against her.</p><p>“Well, come on then, Tarth. Bring your condoms and let's go.”</p><p> </p><p>His bed is nicely made and Brienne wonders shortly if he has brought her to a guest room instead of his own, but then Jaime pulls off her sweater and her tank top and Brienne has other things to think about. Like Jaime's mouth on her body.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>What happened in Harrenhal had been quick and dirty. Pants had been pulled down, buttons were torn open and Jaime had just pushed Brienne's bra up from her breasts. This time Jaime takes his time. They are both topless, lying on top of the garish red comforter, kissing and kissing until he pulls back from her.</p><p>“What?" He is staring at her tits.</p><p>“Nothing,” Jaime smiles and bites his lip. “Freckles,” he adds and then he makes this mmm noise like someone has offered him to taste something and he needs a moment to think about is there too much pepper in the sauce. What a fucking arse he is.</p><p>“You have freckles on your tits.”</p><p>There are too many freckles on Brienne's tits, she is well aware. Too much pepper in the sauce.</p><p>“You've seen my tits before.”</p><p>“Well, I didn't get a good look at them before.” Then he bows down and kisses her breast, first a very soft kiss to the underside and then more kisses upwards until he takes her nipple in his mouth and grazes with his teeth and Brienne very nearly makes a noise.</p><p> </p><p>Well, she makes several noises later.</p><p> </p><p>She makes lots of noises when Jaime is finally fucking her, and it's nice, it's good, it's so fucking good. And if Jaime was slow before he is not slow now. Brienne clings to him, feels the tension building inside her. He is so pretty, she thinks, she could just come only looking at him like he is now, completely wrecked. His green eyes are hooded and lips are swollen and red. She wants to bite him, nibble his earlobe, taste his skin on her mouth, so she does. The want coils inside her like a rubber band that is wound to a ball. </p><p> </p><p>“Brienne,” Jaime moans. “Brienne, please,” and it's the way he says her name makes her tip over, the orgasm flooding over her like a tidal wave. “Fuck, Brienne, fuck,” he follows her, his hips slamming into her, <em>yes</em>, she thinks, <em>y</em><em>es, I like him like this</em>. "Jaime," she moans to him and holds him and he comes hard with her name on his lips. And then Jaime is kissing her face and all tension is unwound from their bodies and Brienne feels like her she is surrounded by cotton.</p><p>***</p><p>“Lannister,” she nudges him. “Hmm,” he mumbles from somewhere near her ear. “Condom,” she nudges him again and then he pulls out of her, and turns to his side, away from her.</p><p>“I hope you didn't just drop it on the floor,” she comments when he turns back at her. He laughs, little embarrassed, but then his brow creases when he sees that she is sitting up.</p><p>“Where are you going?” he pouts.</p><p>“Home.” Brienne starts looking around for her pyjama pants.</p><p>“How rude.” He puts his arms around her and pulls her down to the bed again. “We haven't even cuddled yet.” Brienne tries to get up again but Jaime wraps his limbs around her like an octopus. “It's rude to run off without cuddling.”</p><p>Last time, in Harrenhal, she had hardly caught her breath after her orgasm before Jaime had said something. Brienne's brain had been full of post-orgasm fluff and it hardly even had registered what he had said, but Brienne was pretty sure that it had been something about her thighs or her beastly qualities in the bed. Maybe it hadn't been an insult, she thinks now. But it had felt like an insult then, and she had just stood up, dressed and left. No cuddling.</p><p>Right now, he is holding her like he is afraid she'll leave. Maybe I was rude when I left last time, she thinks. Maybe that's why he has been so grumpy in the office lately.</p><p>“So what's the etiquette of booty calls, Lannister?” She looks at him and finds his green eyes on her. Jaime is pulling the sheet on top of them, they are both shifting around, legs and arms finding a comfortable position until they settle. Cuddling feels nice.</p><p>“Well, as a guest you should at least stay and cuddle for a while. And as a host, I should offer you a drink and propose you to stay for the night.” He nudges her with his nose. “And you know. It really would be polite to eat you out and make you breakfast later.”</p><p>“Eat me out?” she laughs, little embarrassed. No one has eaten her out before.</p><p>“Yes.” His hand is on her head, fingers fiddling with a strand of her hair. “I did promise that I'll make you come at least twice. And Lannisters always pay their debts.”</p><p>“Maybe I'll stay for a while,” she agrees.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>“I'm not, you know,” he tells her quietly later. She is wearing her pyjamas again and her head is on his chest. He has fulfilled his earlier promises and some more, and she is so wrung out that there is no way she can drive herself home now. Which was probably his goal from the beginning. Manipulative bastard. </p><p>“You're not what, Jaime?”</p><p>“I'm not seeing her any more. Cersei. I'm not seeing Cersei any more." The sky behind the window is pinkish with the dawn. It makes his skin glow. "I haven't seen her for a long time now.”</p><p>“Oh,” Brienne manages to say. She listens to his heart beating. “That's good, I suppose.”</p><p>“Yeah, that's good,” Jaime whispers against her hair.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Jaime insists on walking her to her car and takes her hand in the elevator. Brienne lifts her eyebrows, but he smirks, exactly like he smirked her once when Brienne had found out that he had lifted her second-best deployment specialist to his team. “Cuddling,” he explains and squeezes her hand. He only lets go of it when they reach her car and then he puts his hands to her face instead. The kiss is gentle, too gentle and Brienne feels all her insides going mush.</p><p>“See you on Monday, Tarth," he calls after her when she closes the car door. Her phone pings almost immediately and she sneaks a peek in the next red light.</p><p>"😘🍑🍆💦"</p><p>"Gods damn smirking asshole," she curses and drives home in her pyjamas at the middle of the day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The trouble with Enemies with Benefits is that it's sooo hard to write enemies when they are so smitten with each other!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hate cuddles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>next week at the office. Some drunken texting happens later.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I went and retitled this fic... I tried not to but simply couldn't resist. TY and kissy faces to Thehoundabides and AliciaWinterOaks for this Galaxy Brain moment in the comments.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">Hate cuddles</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">First, it seems that everything is back to normal at the office. Brienne and Jaime have their usual argument about the projects on the weekly staff meeting, but when Jaime leans back and casually lets Brienne have the Frey project the vibe between them seems to be slightly off. Brienne is not sure in what way, because Lannister is smirking again and it infuriates her more than usual.</p><p class="western">The smirking might be because the Frey project ends up being a fucking nightmare.</p><p class="western">Jaime also starts texting her, which is annoying as fuck.</p><p class="western">On Wednesday, after a two-hour nightmare meeting with Walter Frey, Brienne is eating a piece of rhubarb pie that someone (probably Pod) has left on her table when her phone pings.</p><p class="western">“How was the meeting with Walter F?”</p><p class="western">“Fucking nightmare. 😤 Walter F asked if my brother is married and would he be interested in marrying one of his daughters.🤮”</p><p class="western">“Thats Walter🤡 Did he behave otherwise?”</p><p class="western">“NO! He asked if I'd be interested in dating men older than me. 🤮”</p><p class="western">“I'll fucking kill him”</p><p class="western">Brienne is too busy stuffing rhubarb cake to her mouth to answer before the next text comes.</p><p class="western">“Well r u?”</p><p class="western">“Am I what?”</p><p class="western">“Interested dating men older than you?”</p><p class="western">“Ew Lannister, WFrey is gross 🤮🤮🤮”</p><p class="western">“...”</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">On Friday they have this huge quarterly infodump when everyone is herded to the auditorium where Kevan Lannister drones three hours about broadcasts, budgets, upcoming and ongoing projects and whatnot. Jaime Lannister, who usually spends it playing some game on his phone or bitching about how sleepy he is, parks himself next to Brienne this time and actually pays attention. After ten minutes he gets bored again and starts a running commentary to Brienne, who is trying to take notes. It's awfully distracting to have Lannister sitting next to her, smelling all nice and clean and making Brienne feel all sorts of feelings she should not feel in the office.</p><p class="western">Their Harrenhal project gets a special mention, everyone is clapping to Brienne and Jaime's teams and Brienne feels her face going all red. They get doughnuts delivered to their floor as a reward and surprisingly Jaime doesn't fight for the last raspberry doughnut, like he usually does.</p><p class="western">“What's wrong with you, Lannister?” she has to ask him then.</p><p class="western">“What do you mean?”</p><p class="western">“You're all...” she makes a face because she doesn't have a word for it. “You're like... mushy.”</p><p class="western">“Mushy?” his teeth glisten when he smiles. Brienne wants to put her tongue to his mouth and lick the doughnut glazing off from his lip.</p><p class="western">“What can I say Tarth,” his voice drops an octave and he is leaning nearer her. “Maybe I just had really nice weekend...” he murmurs to her ear and Brienne makes a swift escape before she punches the bastard and gets fired for it.</p><p class="western">Having Jaime Lannister saunter around the office being all mushy, smiley and casually gorgeous is getting so much on Brienne's nerves that when Dacey, Sansa and Margaery demand Brienne to go out to drinks with them on Friday she actually agrees. And she even obeys Margaery's orders to wear that slinky dress that Brienne wore to Sansa's and Margaery's bachelorette party.</p><p class="western">They go to some posh establishment where the drinks are fancy and suspiciously delicious. The evening is spent mainly giggling about Dacey who has a hot fling with recently divorced Addam Marbrand.</p><p class="western">“I'm gonna booty text him,” announces Dacey later when they are all outside the club waiting for their respective rides to arrive. Brienne packs Margaery and Sansa to their Über, hugs Dacey goodby and waits for her own ride to come. Maybe I should booty text Jaime, she thinks and her booze-filled brain immediately agrees with the idea.</p><p class="western">“Hye” she types and sends the text. Shit.</p><p class="western">“Hey” she manages to type and send it, but then Jaime is calling her.</p><p class="western">“Tarth,” he exclaims. His voice is warm like honey. Or something.</p><p class="western">“Jaime, you're not supposed to call,” she scolds him. “I'm trying to booty text you.”</p><p class="western">“What,” he laughs at the phone. “Brienne, are you drunk?”</p><p class="western">“Just a little,” she pouts. “We had a few drinks.” The words are surprisingly hard. More people pour out of the club and there is shouting and giggling nearby.</p><p class="western">“Where are you now?”</p><p class="western">“Just outside the club. Waiting for my ride.” Brienne is pretty sure that she did order herself a ride.</p><p class="western">“Are you alone?”</p><p class="western">Why is he asking that? Is he afraid that others will know she booty calls him?</p><p class="western">“Don't' worry, everyone else has left home already. It's just me.” She hears him cursing on the phone.</p><p class="western">“Brienne, wait there, alright? I'm gonna pick you up, ok?”</p><p class="western">She hears some noise from the phone, like Jaime is walking around with his phone.</p><p class="western">“What's the club called?” he asks her then, and asks her again to wait for him when she tells him. “I'll be there in ten.”</p><p class="western">“ty 😘” she texts him while waiting.</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">Jaime arrives in his posh car, wearing faded jeans and soft hoodie and looks like a god again. Brienne has started to come down from her cocktail-infused drunken euphoria and is shivering in her slinky dress, and Jaime curses and wraps his hoodie around her.</p><p class="western">“I can't believe they fucking left you here alone, Brienne.”</p><p class="western">Bundled in his posh car, the seat heater on, she feels quite safe and warm again. Jaime's hoodie smells like him.</p><p class="western">“Hey, Snow White? Where should I take you?”</p><p class="western">“Home.”</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">He is surprisingly gentle when he deposits her to her bed later.</p><p class="western">“Jaime, I might be rather sloshed,” she slurs when Jaime is taking off her shoes.</p><p class="western">“Yes, sweetling, you are quite sloshed,” he smiles at her and disappears. He reappears with a tall glass of water which he makes her drink.</p><p class="western">“This booty call did not end up like I planned,” she confesses him and drops down to the bed again. Jaime is sitting at the edge of her bed and petting her hair.</p><p class="western">“Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?” The alcohol inside Brienne is making the world all foggy.</p><p class="western">“Well, you know. The usual.” The room is rotating slowly around Brienne. “Some really hot hate sex.” Jaime snorts. “And then some hate cuddling.”</p><p class="western">"Hate cuddling?" His eyes go all dark. “You think I hate you, Brienne?” Jaime looks a little sad. “Do <em>you</em> hate me?”</p><p class="western">She doesn't want Jaime to be sad. He is too pretty to be sad.</p><p class="western">“No, of course I don't hate you, Jaime. You are just really fucking annoying.” He snorts again and looks happier.</p><p class="western">“Oh yeah?”</p><p class="western">“Yeah. Well, not always, you know. Sometimes you are quite sweet. In a very very annoying way, but sweet.”</p><p class="western">Brienne closes her eyes because the way the room is spinning really is too much. </p><p class="western">“Jaime?”</p><p class="western">“What, sweetling?”</p><p class="western">“Can you stay?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I got so many nice comments from you, thank you thank you. I'm floored with this attention this silly little thing is getting.</p><p>Oh and if anyone wants to know about rhubarb pie, <a href="https://estoniancuisine.com/2018/05/09/soft-and-mellow-rhubarb-cake/">here is a similar to one that Brienne is eating.</a> TY for my Estonian friends for this delish treat.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The day after</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Brienne wakes up the next morning with the feeling that a small and vicious pixie has used her mouth as a toilet and now is playing the cymbals inside her head.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Firstly I want to thank each and every person who has commented, kudod, subscribed and read this fic. I'm sorry that I haven't replied to comments, but believe me, I read and treasure each.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">The day after</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Brienne wakes up the next morning with the feeling that a small and vicious pixie has used her mouth as a toilet and now is playing the cymbals inside her head.</p><p class="western">“Urg,” she manages to croak before finding a glass of water and two painkillers on her nightstand. Brienne almost congratulates Past Brienne for being so forethoughtful before remembering that actually, it was Jaime Lannister who helped her to the bed last night and is probably the person who has supplied these essentials to Present Hungover Brienne.</p><p class="western">Brienne is not entirely sure if Jaime Lannister is still in her house and is in this point she is too afraid to find out, so she hurries to her bathroom to wash. Finally rid of the slinky dress (which she will probably burn later) and having showered and brushed her teeth Brienne feels at least 54% better.</p><p class="western">She finds Jaime Lannister at her kitchen, frying bacon. He is wearing her Rainbow Guards hoodie, looking ridiculously cheerful and handsome.</p><p class="western">“Sunshine!” he exclaims to her, just a tad too loudly and kisses Brienne's cheek. Brienne is way too hungover to understand what mind games he is playing so she just slinks to a chair and puts her head to the kitchen table. Lannister putters around the kitchen, almost looking like he knows what to do in one.</p><p class="western">While Brienne waits for the clanging in her head to quiet down, a glass of orange juice, a cup of coffee and a bacon sandwich magically appear in front of her. The breakfast does make her feel better, even if Jaime Lannister is smirking across the table and keeps nudging her feet with his naked toes.</p><p class="western">“I'm never drinking fancy cocktails again,” Brienne grumbles and slowly finishes the bacon sandwich.</p><p class="western">“So how do you usually cure your hangovers?” Lannister asks her. “I bet you fight it out of you. Running, gym, yoga.” His eyes unfocus for a moment.</p><p class="western">Brienne is currently unable even to fetch herself a second cup of coffee and cannot fathom the idea of any other kind of physical activity.</p><p class="western">“Sofa and Weirflix sounds much achievable at this moment."</p><p class="western">“Sweet,” Lannister smiles brightly and refills her coffee. “Weirflix and chill it is then.”</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">After her third cup of coffee, Brienne migrates to the sofa and lets Jaime pick out this classic swords-and-shields series. Unsurprisingly Jaime keeps a running commentary, making fun of the costumes and pointing out the plot holes. Brienne wants to argue back but is too tired. Besides, some of the points he complains about are same what Brienne herself has secretly thought. Then things get cuddly again.</p><p class="western">Jaime, who has parked himself right next to Brienne puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer.</p><p class="western">“What's this Lannister?” Brienne asks when he takes her hand.</p><p class="western">“Cuddling.” She hears amusement from his voice.</p><p class="western">“I thought that's supposed to come after.” On-screen, a strong warrior girl is beating an old man with a morning star. It looks brutal, but when the scene changes the camera zooms to the girl's eyes welled with tears.</p><p class="western">“It can come before too.” Jaime is so warm and smells so nice that Brienne closes her eyes for a moment.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">“Hey,” Jaime nudges her a little later. Brienne tries to open her eyes but they are too sleepy. “Hey, Snow White...” he nudges her again.</p><p class="western">“What's with the Snow White?” Jaime had called her that yesterday as well. </p><p class="western">“Because of this,” then he kisses her awake.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">The series is playing on the background and they are making out on the sofa. Brienne hardly registers the clanging of the swords and shouting from the tv because Jaime has somehow managed to get her naked.</p><p class="western">“All this week I've been thinking about your thighs,” he sighs and Brienne feels her blush wooshing from her forehead down her face and chest till it stops at her tits. “I wanted to bury my face between them so bad,” Jaime murmurs while rubbing his beard stubble to the inside of her thigh. Brienne squirms with anticipation.</p><p class="western">The first kiss is gentle, just his lips on her cunt. Then he blows his breath on her, and Brienne's back arches up from the sofa. “You're such a dick, Lannister,” she scolds him fondly. In the next kiss his tongue explores her folds, and Brienne is squirming again.</p><p class="western">“Do behave, sweetling,” Jaime smiles up to her, grips her thighs with his hands and buries his face down again. He laps her, kisses her, fucks her with his tongue and with his fingers and Brienne comes with a slightly embarrassing whine. But overall this really does wonders to her still hung-over body.</p><p class="western">Jaime cuddles her afterwards, kissing softly her ear and her cheek. His hands are around her and his body aligned with hers.</p><p class="western">“Jaime,” she asks him. “Would you like something to drink?”</p><p class="western">“Hmm,” his brow creases. “No, not now.”</p><p class="western">“Well, perhaps something else then?” Brienne pulls away from him and sits up. She puts her hand to his jeans and rubs the bulge through the fabric. The understanding dawns on his pretty face and lights the smile on it.</p><p class="western">“Um, I suppose it would be a polite thing to do. But you don't have to.”</p><p class="western">“I want to,” she tells him, unbuttons his jeans and pulls them and his briefs down. Jaime's cock is beautiful like Jaime himself is beautiful. Brienne wraps her fingers around the silky skin and takes the head in her mouth.</p><p class="western">“Oh gods,” Jaime sighs. Brienne has never done this before and always thought the idea slightly icky but it's not. Not with Jaime. She quite likes it how she is in control and he is falling apart.</p><p class="western">Of course, Jaime keeps talking through it, he never really shuts up does he, Brienne thinks. It should be annoying but it's not. It's sweet and hot.</p><p class="western">When his breathing comes more laboured, he begs her. “Brienne, please,” he touches her face gently. “I want to fuck you, please.” Brienne lifts away from his lap and unwraps her fingers from his cock.</p><p class="western">“You are wearing too many clothes, Jaime,” she scolds him, and together they manage to pull off his t-shirt and hoodie. He is so golden and naked and gorgeous on her sofa, and it's so overwhelmingly hot that Brienne doesn't know where to look or what to touch.</p><p class="western">Jaime, who seems to know exactly what he wants, rolls on the condom he has pulled out of his pocket and pulls Brienne down to lay side by side.</p><p class="western">“Brienne,” he kisses her hungrily. “You are so fucking gorgeous.”</p><p class="western">“That dress you wore yesterday, it almost killed me.” He lifts her leg a little and pushes inside her. He is so hard and big and it feels so good. He moves slowly first but then picks up the pace.</p><p class="western">“I want to fuck you all day,” he moans. She wants it too, Jaime's hands on her skin and his cock inside her.</p><p class="western">He rolls them a little so Brienne is now under him and it's even better because now she can wrap both her legs around him.</p><p class="western">She likes the weight of him on top of her. She likes how he laces his fingers around hers again and lifts her arm above her head, how his breath is hot on her neck and how his hips are slamming into her. His fingers on her clit, pressing, touching. “Jaime,” she wants him so badly, “Jaime, my sweet,” she cries and then he makes a noise and she lets it all flow over her. He curses then, comes too, and it's so so good.</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">Brienne is way too embarrassed to lounge naked on the couch, and also that might be unhygienic, so they put on some clothes and settle down again.</p><p class="western">“Your couch is so damn comfortable,” Jaime murmurs to her. “And your house is so comfortable and nice. Warm and cosy.”</p><p class="western">He is wearing her hoodie again and no shirt, and it's very distracting. The tv is still on, and by the sounds of it seems that the dragons have arrived, but Brienne is running fingers through Jaime's chest hair. She likes how those golden curls make a trail across his belly to his pants. Happy trail, had Margaery once explained the term to Brienne. It makes Brienne happy to have access to Jaime's naked chest like this. She looks up and finds Jaime himself looking at her with some amusement.</p><p class="western">“So, are you happy how your booty call has turned out now?” he asks.</p><p class="western">“Hmm,” she pretends to think. “Maybe. I might need more cuddling though.”</p><p class="western">He laughs and pulls her even closer. Music swells in the television and Smiling Knight stares wistfully at an island.</p><p class="western">“I can't stay long,” Jaime tells her. “I promised Addam to help him with his new place.”</p><p class="western">Brienne swallows. She really didn't expect Jaime to stay; well, she really didn't expect him to be in her house this morning or even to hang out with her while she is recovering from yesterday, but hearing that he leaves soon makes some odd lump to Brienne's throat.</p><p class="western">“Hey,” he takes her hand and laces his fingers through hers. “Do you have plans for tomorrow?”</p><p class="western">“I suppose I need to do some stuff.”</p><p class="western">“What kind of stuff?”</p><p class="western">“You know, laundry...” He flashes her a grin.</p><p class="western">“Laundry is boring. I have a better idea.”</p><p class="western">“What?”</p><p class="western">“Yeah, I want to take you somewhere. It's much better than the laundry. I'll pick you up in the morning.”</p><p class="western">“To do what?”</p><p class="western">“It's a secret. Trust me, you'll like it.”</p><p class="western">“What if I don't like it?”</p><p class="western">“Trust me, Tarth, you'll love it. But if you don't like it I'll bring you home and you can do laundry.”</p><p class="western">Brienne really wants to say no, but Jaime has driven Drunk Brienne home at the middle of the night and made her breakfast. She owns him. She probably should buy him dinner as well.</p><p class="western">“Alright,” she agrees.</p><p class="western">“Sweet,” he smiles brightly and kisses her.</p><p class="western">“You're so going to like my surprise.”</p><p class="western">**</p><p class="western">"Gods damn Lannister did you stole my hoodie? 🤬</p><p class="western">“Maybe 😈”</p><p class="western">“...”</p><p class="western">"u can wear mine instead😘”</p><p class="western"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Rainbow Guards and Kingsguards are sports teams. Both Brienne and Jaime have competed professionally and won medals in World Cup levels. </p><p>I once had a teacher who blushed exactly that. it started from her hairline, went down her face, neck and presumably her chest too. We were a bunch of mean 8-year-olds and found it very amusing. I'm so sorry, miss P.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Texting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>texting</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you thank you all for the comments, I love you guys so much. this fandom is the best ever.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">J: “I already miss u"</p><p class="western">J: “Addam has piles and piles of flatpack furniture from SKÅGÖS 2 build 😖"</p><p class="western">J: “can u call me and pretend 2 have emergency”</p><p class="western">J: “Tarth r u ignoring me?”</p><p class="western">B: “I was at the gym.”</p><p class="western">J: “I knew it ur a fighter 💪"</p><p class="western">B: “Jaime”</p><p class="western">J: “yes my sweetling 🥰</p><p class="western">B: “...”</p><p class="western">B: “...”</p><p class="western">B: “...”</p><p class="western">J: “????”</p><p class="western">B: “Thank you for driving me home last night. And for taking care of me this morning. I really appreciate it.”</p><p class="western">J: “it was my pleasure 😘</p><p class="western">J: “ne time 4 u 👅🍑"</p><p class="western">B: “are you sexting me again?”</p><p class="western">J: “yes”</p><p class="western">B: "..."</p><p class="western">B: "..."</p><p class="western">J: “Addam &amp; Dacey r roasting me”</p><p class="western">B: “Get back to work then”</p><p class="western">J: “dont want 2”</p><p class="western">B: “where are we going tomorrow?”</p><p class="western">J: “told u its a secret”</p><p class="western">B: “I need to know what to wear”</p><p class="western">J: “Wear whatever u want”</p><p class="western">J: “as long as its blu 💙"</p><p class="western">B: “...”</p><p class="western">J: “it brings out ur eyes”</p><p class="western">B: “...”</p><p class="western">J: “or wear my hoodie”</p><p class="western">B: “Will you bring mine back if I do?”</p><p class="western">J: “no actually u cant wear a hoodie”</p><p class="western">B: “...”</p><p class="western">J: “just normal clothes. comfy shues.”</p><p class="western">B: “Did you just tell Dacey you are texting me?”</p><p class="western">B: “She just texted me “stop sexting with Lannister””</p><p class="western">J: “...”</p><p class="western">J: “they were roasting me"</p><p class="western">B: “...”</p><p class="western">B: “I miss you too 😘"</p><p class="western"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I didn't come up with SKÅGÖS for IKEA, it was Tumblr user @averbaldumpingground, go read her Tab A JB fic!</p><p>But yeah, that's how two enemies with benefits totally behave... wearing each others clothes, texting each other, holding hands on the street, going out to fun surprise dates... should I tag this idiots in love?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Oathkeeper</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The secret date</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There are plenty of wonderful JB museum fics and I've done a couple of them myself but I couldn't resist to do it again. I mean where else they should go to their first proper date?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">Oathkeeper</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Jaime Lannister, who is usually always late, knocks on her front door four minutes before they are supposed to meet. Brienne wipes her sweaty palms to her thighs and goes to open the door. She has spent all morning worrying about her clothes, her shoes and generally about what's going to happen but it's too late now to change her chucks to something else. She finds Jaime standing at front step being casually gorgeous with his golden hair, pretty eyes and great body.</p><p class="western">“Hey,” he says with a smile and kisses Brienne's cheek like he did yesterday's morning. Brienne feels how her blush floods her face. Jaime traces it with his eyes and smiles like he's been given a gift. “Ready for your mystery adventure, Tarth?” he coos and waits patiently while she locks her door.</p><p class="western">He has double-parked his posh car in front of her house, but when they reach it Jaime makes a little jog to the passenger door and opens it for Brienne.</p><p class="western"><em>Shit</em>, thinks Brienne. Shit, shit, shit, shit. <em>Is this</em> – the idea formulates in her head and Brienne almost opens her mouth to ask about it but then Jaime sits to the driver's seat and grins to Brienne like a shark in a cartoon and Brienne shuts her mouth again. She can't ask <em>that</em> now when Jaime has this devious grin on his face. He will make fun of her and Brienne needs to fortify her defences first to ward off whatever mystery attack he has planned for them now.</p><p class="western">Right now, Jaime drives them towards the city and mostly moans about helping Addam set up his new house last night.</p><p class="western">“There are like million screws and you're supposed to use them all,” he grumbles.</p><p class="western">“I actually like building stuff from SKÅGÖS,” confesses Brienne. “I'm pretty good at it too, I used to do it to all my friends.” Brienne had once built two bookcases, a dining room table with six chairs and a rather shitty sofa for Renly and Loras. It took her most of the weekend and then she wasn't even invited to their house warming party. It was that moment when she finally realised that neither Renly nor Loras would ever return the favour for her so she promptly cut both of men out of her life.</p><p class="western">“Seriously? I should have brought you with me to Addam's. At least you have two hands, unlike me. Who invites one-handed man to build furniture, seriously?”</p><p class="western">"You're such a baby," she rolls her eyes and takes his hand resting on the gear stick to her own. Jaime's car accident was pretty bad, and his right hand was damaged severely but he still has all his limbs present, and not even a half a finger missing. She examines the angry red scars crisscrossing his palm and fingers.</p><p class="western">“Have you done your physio?” It's Jaime's turn to roll his eyes now.</p><p class="western">“Yes, Tarth, I've done my physio.” He pulls his hand away from hers, makes a fist first and then spreads the fingers. Not all fingers bend or straighten properly, but the difference for what it was half a year ago is impressive.</p><p class="western">“Jaime, it's much better than before.” He smiles, takes her hand to his again and kisses it.</p><p class="western">“That's because I have two constant pains in the ass about my physio. One Ilyn Payne and you.” A laugh escapes from Brienne.</p><p class="western">“He is very good, is he?”</p><p class="western">“Yes, and very expensive. And I still hate him.”</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">Jaime drives them to the city centre and into a tunnel that takes them to one of the many expensive parking garages under the city. When they emerge from the garage to the street Brienne finds that they have arrived at the street corner next to the National Museum. There is a long queue of people on the sidewalk. “Lost Valyria,” the huge sign reads above the museum entrance.</p><p class="western">“I can't believe how long the queue is,” Brienne wonders to Jaime, who takes her hand again and leads them towards the back of the building. “And the museum isn't even open yet.”</p><p class="western">“Valyrian exhibition, right? How long did you queue?” he asks her. There is a huge temporary exhibition about Valyrian steel swords and daggers in the museum. Brienne had to go, of course.</p><p class="western">“Only six hours. I took a day off and went on Tuesday morning to avoid the worst of it.” The exhibition had been worth the long wait, but it had been very crowded and Brienne wishes she could go again. But she really can't justify herself to take another day off from work or spend half a night queueing on the street again.</p><p class="western">“Have you seen it? It's really good.” Brienne knows that Jaime is also a history buff. They once spent half a meeting arguing about the significance of dragons in late Medival battle strategies.</p><p class="western">“Yes,” he tells her and looks around the street, searching for something. “I was at the opening night.”</p><p class="western">Brienne stops and stares at him.</p><p class="western">“What,” he shrugs. “My family is involved in the Museum trust. And we lent some objects to the exhibition.” He pulls her hand and starts walking again.</p><p class="western">“Come on, Tarth, we have no time to spare.” He leads them around the corner and to the small side door. A small man is standing next to it and looking at Jaime expectantly.</p><p class="western">“Mr Lannister,” the man greets them.</p><p class="western">“Professor Mott, thank you for this,” Jaime lets go of Brienne's hand and shakes the man's hand. “This is my friend, Brienne,” he gestures towards Brienne, who in turn shakes hands with the man. Professor Mott has a tie clip shaped like Dawn, Brienne notices.</p><p class="western">“Shall we?” professor Mott shuffles them into the museum through the back door. He leads them through the corridors, locked doors and hallways.</p><p class="western">“Jaime, you didn't,” Brienne gasps when they are suddenly inside the hallway that leads to the exhibition.</p><p class="western">“I did, Brienne,” he smiles and looks at her with amusement. “I told you you'll like my surprise.”</p><p class="western">Professor Mott, who apparently is Master of the Arms at the National Museum leads them around the exhibition he personally has curated and gives them a tour.</p><p class="western">Brienne had not expected this. You really can't expect a private tour in the hottest exhibition in the last ten years in National Museum of Westeros to be your mystery activity to escape laundry, can you? <em>I can't wait to tell Uncle Goodwin,</em> she thinks. And then, <em>how am I going to explain Jaime Lannister to Goodwin?</em></p><p class="western">It takes a while for Brienne to recover from the shock but the swords and daggers and professor Mott's explanations soon pull her out of silence. She asks about the objects, gets extensive explanations and professor Mott even seems to enjoy of Brienne's questions.</p><p class="western">“You do know your history of Valyrian steel, miss...?”</p><p class="western">“Tarth, Brienne Tarth,” she blushes.</p><p class="western">“Any relation to Tarth Tarths?” the man has his watery grey eyes fixed to Brienne.</p><p class="western">“Yes, my family,” Brienne answers when they stop in front of the case displaying Widow's Wail. The sword is usually exhibited in museums main Weaponry section with legendary Dawn, but both have been moved here temporarily to be displayed with almost all other known Valyrian steel swords in the Westeros. Tobho Mott explains with great enthusiasm about Widow's Wail recent cleaning and restoration process.</p><p class="western">The sword is impressive, as always; black and red ripples shining in the artificial light. Brienne has spent many hours in the museum watching it greedily, trying to memorise every detail and even sketching some to her notebook, regardless of her rather poor drawing skills. Next to it lays another sword, made from regular grey steel. It has gilded pommel shaped like a lions head with ruby eyes. Brienne winces rather involuntarily.</p><p class="western">“That's mine,” grins Jaime next to her.</p><p class="western">“What's yours, Jaime?”</p><p class="western">“The replica of the Oathkeeper. It's usually in my bedroom at Casterly, but they couldn't get real Oathkeeper, so our family lent this instead.”</p><p class="western">“Yes,” remarks Tobho Mott. “Oathkeeper is in a private collection, and wasn't available.”</p><p class="western">“Too bad you couldn't borrow it,” Jaime continues. “I've heard it's rather beautiful. Not as beautiful as Widow's Wail, of course. It would have been rather wonderful to see them next to each other.”</p><p class="western">“Rather an impossible task, I'm afraid,” agrees professor Mott while looking at the swords.</p><p class="western">Brienne feels the insides of her burning with rising anger.</p><p class="western">“You know, Oathkeeper is displayed at Tarth Museum. Anyone who wishes it can actually see it. It's open for public every day except Mondays, Sevenmas and Long Night,” she manages to say quietly. Jaime looks at her curiously, but then puts his hand around her waist and pulls her close to him.</p><p class="western">“Have you seen it?”</p><p class="western">“Many times, Jaime. Every child in Stormlands is taken at least once to Tarth Museum on a school trip.”</p><p class="western">They continue to the rest of the exhibition and Brienne tries to swallow her disappointment. It would have been rather wonderful to see those sister swords next to each other, but it wasn't possible.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">When the museum opens to the public and first excited queuers rush into the exhibition, professor Mott shakes Brienne and Jaime's hands again and bids them goodbye.</p><p class="western">“Give my regards to your aunt Genna,” he smiles warmly to Jaime and disappears behind the same non-descript door they came through earlier.</p><p class="western">“My aunt Genna sits at the trust,” Jaime explains to Brienne. "And he owed her a favour." Brienne wants to be angry with Lannisters being able to call in favours to get a private tours whenever fancy hits them but at most she manages to produce a mild annoyance.</p><p class="western">“Do you want to see regular exhibitions?” Jaime nudges her with his hip as if Brienne would ever say no to a walk around the National Museum of Westeros.</p><p class="western">It's a couple of hours later after they have walked through all four floors, squabbled about the order of battles in War of the Five Kings and laughed themselves silly when Jaime made fun of the statues of High Septons when they finally find themselves at the museum shop. Brienne, who has decidedly tried to forget the shitty replica of the Oathkeeper at the exhibition has found herself another thing to worry about, and that is mainly the overly affectionate way Jaime Lannister keeps touching her. He has been cuddly and affectionate in last days, true, but that has been safely inside the walls of their homes and now they are in public, where anyone can see them. And he did open that car door to her.</p><p class="western">The question she almost asked Jaime this morning comes back to her mind as they walk idly through the museum shop. Brienne decidedly keeps herself well away from all the pretty books as she really doesn't want to go to SKÅGÖS to buy yet another bookshelf to her already overly crowded house. In the section that is full of trinkets, postcards and tea towels -- all decorated with various swords -- Jaime finds a selection of sword-shaped tie clips, necklaces and earrings. He finds a hair clip that is supposed to look like Widow's Wail and tries to put it on to Brienne, who swats away his hand.</p><p class="western">She has to ask then.</p><p class="western">“Jaime,” she fiddles with a pen knife shaped like a sword.</p><p class="western">“Is this a date?” He turns his green eyes to her. “Are we on a date?”</p><p class="western">She could sware that he holds back an eye-roll. Instead, he lets out a little amused puff.</p><p class="western">“Yes, Brienne. This is a date.”</p><p class="western">Whoosh, the thrice-damned blush washes over Brienne's face again.</p><p class="western">“Unless...” he continues and looks nervous. “Unless you don't want this to be a date. In which case it's a totally platonic outing of two rivalling colleagues with you know...” He tilts his head. “Benefits.”</p><p class="western">Brienne looks down to the penknife. It's supposed to look like Longclaw, but the pommel is all wrong. She puts it back to the table and rubs her hands to her thighs.</p><p class="western">“Brienne...” she hears Jaime saying gently.</p><p class="western">“I'd like it,” she looks up to him. “This to be a date, I mean.”</p><p class="western">Jaime's smile is as bright as the golden armour they looked at earlier. He drops whatever he was holding carelessly, puts his hands to her face and kisses her.</p><p class="western">“Good,” he tells her. “Because I really really like you.”</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">Brienne, who has never in her life walked away from a museum shop outside of Tarth without buying something only holds Jaime's hand when they leave the building. The overwhelming need to own something pretty or whimsical was washed away with Jaime's kisses and acute embarrassment she felt when an employee coughed pointedly nearby when they kissed by the jigsaw puzzles.</p><p class="western">The day is young still so they decide to walk to the nearby park.</p><p class="western">“I thought you hated me,” she confesses when they are watching ducks at the pond.</p><p class="western">“Brienne...” Jaime looks at her with a frustrated expression. “Even after...?” He sighs and Brienne feels slightly guilty, but Jaime pulls her to a hug and whispers to her ear. “I've had a mad crush on you for ages.”</p><p class="western">He lets go of her again and takes her hand.</p><p class="western">“At least since when you bullied me in the hospital.”</p><p class="western">That makes Brienne laugh.</p><p class="western">“I did not bully you in the hospital.”</p><p class="western">“Yes you did,” Jaime laughs. “You nagged me until I ate my food and then you bullied me out of my wallowing.”</p><p class="western">“You did wallow quite a lot, I have to say.”</p><p class="western">“I'm glad you nagged me,” he lifts their joined hands and kisses the back of hers.</p><p class="western">“Anyways,” he continues. “I've been trying to ask you out for months now.”</p><p class="western">So all his teasing, hovering nearby her desk at work and constantly needling her was because he <em>liked </em>her?</p><p class="western">“Jaime,” she looks at him. “You are awful at this, do you know?”</p><p class="western">“I know!” he laughs, wraps his arm around her and pulls her closer to him.</p><p class="western">"And you are rather oblivious, aren't you?"</p><p class="western">Jaime is probably right about that. Brienne has always had hard time to recognize if someone likes her.</p><p class="western">They walk further into the park towards the statue of King Jon the Sullen.</p><p class="western">“I said something stupid in Harrenhal, didn't I?”</p><p class="western">“Yeah,” Brienne winces.</p><p class="western">“What did I say?” She stops and looks at Jaime. The sun shines on his golden hair and makes it glitter like he is a knight from a storybook. Except Jaime's story would be the one where a frog leaps out of his mouth every time he opens it.</p><p class="western">“You said that my thighs are big as tree trunks. And then you said something about the noises I made and I...” She had just blanked then, she remembers. Now it feels slightly funny.</p><p class="western">“Brienne,” Jaime wraps himself around her again. He is like an overly affectionate octopus, constantly touching her and trying to hold into her. “I <em>like</em> the noises you make. And your thighs...” he makes a noise himself then. “I fucking love them. I want to die between them.”</p><p class="western">“Jaime,” Brienne giggles helplessly and hides her face to his neck.</p><p class="western">“I want to do things between them that I shouldn't think about while we're at the public park,” Jaime continues murmuring and Brienne's insides go all warm.</p><p class="western">He pulls back then a little, kisses her once shortly and steps away. His hand finds hers again and they continue their walk.</p><p class="western">“And I want to date you.”</p><p class="western">“Alright,” she smiles at him.</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">After the walk in the park and late lunch, they settle in a small cafe near the museum. Jaime orders them a huge cinnamon roll which they split between the two of them. It's been a wonderful day, and Brienne feels oddly mushy when Jaime wipes the corner of her mouth with his thumb and licks it clean.</p><p class="western">She can't stop smiling, and it feels so utterly stupid and wonderful. Jaime, who looks like a shark again (does he think I'm a seal or something?) nudges her with his foot.</p><p class="western">“Brienne, can I ask you something?”</p><p class="western">“Of course.”</p><p class="western">“In the museum, when we talked about the Oathkeeper professor Mott said something, and it pissed you off. What was it?”</p><p class="western">“Ah,” Brienne fiddles with her napkin. “I wasn't that upset.”</p><p class="western">“Oh, come on Tarth, you made the same face you did when that Northen assface called you a big woman. Whatever Professor Mott said, it was bad.”</p><p class="western">“Well...” she bites her lip. She needs to tell Jaime eventually, she supposes. And it's not like it's a big secret, he'll find out latest when he goes to Tarth Museum. He had started to talk about going to Tarth to see Oathkeeper almost right after leaving the museum.</p><p class="western">“Firstly, the replica of the Oathkeeper was rather bad.”</p><p class="western">“What? You didn't like my sword?” Jaime tries to look crestfallen, but fails. The smirk gives it away.</p><p class="western">“No, I didn't.”</p><p class="western">“But it has real rubies and all. And it's ancient, at least a few hundred years old.” He manages to pout now, and it's super cute.</p><p class="western">“Oh, don't be like that, Lannister. It's just that I've seen much better ones.”</p><p class="western">“Better replicas?”</p><p class="western">“Better replicas of the Oathkeeper. We have several in my father's house.”</p><p class="western">“Your family collects old swords too?”</p><p class="western">“Something like that. We have four replicas of the Oathkeeper in the house. Five if you count the one that is so bad that dad uses it as fireplace poker.”</p><p class="western">“Fine then.” Jaime pouts some more, quite prettily. She should have known not to insult his sword. Men are so delicate about their shitty replica swords.</p><p class="western">“What else? You said firstly, so what's secondly?” He nudges her again.</p><p class="western">“Secondly...” Brienne looks down at her coffee cup and takes a big breath and looks at Jaime. “Secondly, it pissed me off when professor Mott lamented about the fact that they couldn't borrow Oathkeeper. It's always like that with the big museums. They think that the small museums are just some dilapidated barns that have nailed some pitchforks and scythes to the wall and that they all should be honoured and grateful when some big museum wants to take off the treasures from their hands.” She draws breath again and ploughs onwards. “But the facts are that tourism contributes about 30% of Tarth's GPD and that 87% of tourists that come to the island visit Tarth museum -- where the most famous object is Oathkeeper.”</p><p class="western">Jaime stares at her. One last thing, Brienne thinks and decides to just blurt it out.</p><p class="western">“And it's my fault that Oathkeeper wasn't lent to the National.”</p><p class="western">It takes Jaime awhile to process it.</p><p class="western">“Why is it your fault?”</p><p class="western">“Because I own the Oathkeeper.”</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">J: “I can't believe that my girlfriend owns a Valyrian steel sword ✨⚔️⚔️✨”</p><p class="western">B: "..."</p><p class="western">J: “do u realise how hot 🔥 it is, my sweet sword wench?"</p><p class="western">J: “when will u take me 2 Tarth?? I want 2 hold ur sword”</p><p class="western">J: “do u want 2 see *my* sword? ⚔️ ”</p><p class="western">J: “its in my bedroom 🍆"</p><p class="western">B: “...”</p><p class="western">J: “its a replica of WW ⚔️, promise its really good 1 ⚔️”</p><p class="western">B: “...”</p><p class="western">B: “...”</p><p class="western">B: “do u want 2 come over ❤️”</p><p class="western">J: “omw my sweet girl”</p><p class="western"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Brienne actually feels really bad about not lending Oathkeeper to the National. They had long long discussions about the subject in Tarth, but Selwyn, Galladon and Goodwin (latter who is the curator at Tarth museum) all recommended that Oathkeeper should remain in Tarth Museum. They also had a referendum at Tarth about the subject. And by referendum I mean there was yelling about it at the local pub. Brienne was the only one who wanted to lend it to Nat, because she wanted to see it next to Widow's Wail. Her vote would have been the only one that counted, but she voted against it anyway because she is honourable like that.</p><p> </p><p>In every Modern AU I write, Brienne always, always owns Oathkeeper. Sometimes she keeps it in her bedroom at Tarth, (like my Tinder fics &amp; the werewolf au) or sometimes she has lent it to the museum (like my Tarth museum fic and here). And the trope “Jaime finds out that Brienne owns Oathkeeper and finds it incredibly hot” is my baby and you'll have to pry it out of my cold dead hands and I'll reuse it million times.</p><p>Jaime owns a good antique replica of Widow's Wail which he has nicked from family armoury when he was a teenager. The actual Widow's Wail is in the National Museum in King's Landing (in my headcanons I mean). Some previous (and slightly OOC) Tywin has donated shit-ton of money and a huge horde of objects to National Museum and that's how Widow's Wail ended up there.</p><p> </p><p>I used to be the person who built all IKEA furniture to my girlfriends who felt that "it's too hard". I've taught at least three women to built the furniture themselves because it's not that hard actually. Jaime is just a cry baby. Plus his hand hurts and he doesn't want to tell that to Addam. aww poor bb. Brienne will kiss it better.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. MS Evenstar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Thank you for booking MS Evenstar from Storm's End to Tarth departing this Thursday at 10:00. Passengers arriving by car are advised to arrive at least 45 minutes before departure.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh gods, I'm so sorry about this crack. It's rather autobiographical, and you have to guess yourself if I identify with Jaime who wants to enjoy himself onboard of a smallish cruise ship or with Brienne who just wants to travel from one place to another.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">MS Evenstar</p><p class="western">✨✨🚙🛳✨✨</p><p class="western">The best thing about the Tarth are the cruise ships taking you there, Jaime realises as soon as they step out of the elevator and into a carpeted hallway full of noisy fruit machines. Although Brienne has called it a ferry, the thing they drove his car into was clearly a smallish cruise ship. And it's full of cruise-ship-kind of activities. There are at least half a dozen bars, other drinking holes, cafes and restaurants, huge perfume and alcohol store and jungle gym and ball pit for children.</p><p class="western">“Where should we go first?” Jaime turns to his girlfriend, who is watching with a frown a group of Yi Ti tourists photographing a smallish blue-eyed and blond child wiping their nose to their sleeve.</p><p class="western">“We need to find a place to sit,” Brienne announces like it's an emergency and pulls Jaime's hand with determination.</p><p class="western">Jaime adores Brienne's legs. They are shapely, long and strong. Unfortunately, that means that Brienne is also very fast at walking and Jaime needs to half jog to keep up with her. Brienne leads them through a maze of corridors, cafes and stairs until they arrive at a shabby looking room crowded with seats. It looks just like the inside of a long-distance bus, or an economy class at a train. Not that Jaime has ever travelled in one.</p><p class="western">Brienne spots a pair of free seats next to a window and rushes to sit down.</p><p class="western">“Thank god we got some seats,” she sighs happily and stretches her legs. Not that there is much a leg space to stretch into.</p><p class="western">“Why do we need these shabby seats?” Jaime frowns. “Can't we go to one of the bars instead?”</p><p class="western">“Jaime, Brienne looks up to him. “it's six hours to Tarth, and the ferry is sold out. It will be unbearable at the bars. Besides, you can't drink anything, you're driving.”</p><p class="western">“Well, only one of us needs to be sober,” he shrugs. He doesn't want to sit in a stupid seating area when there is smallish cruise-ship to see.</p><p class="western">“Oh come on, Tarth,” he pouts and watches Brienne frown adorably. “I've never been on a cruise ship. Show me around, please?”</p><p class="western">Brienne's face gets even scrumpier.</p><p class="western">“This is a ferry, not a cruise ship.”</p><p class="western">He kisses the frown and she melts a little. “Please, my sweet girl? We can sit here later.”</p><p class="western">As soon as Brienne hauls herself up and away two elderly people who look like they don't believe their good luck claim the seats. Jaime takes his girlfriend's hand again and starts pulling her towards the fruit machines.</p><p class="western">While walking he feels the jolt of the ship leaving the harbour and the distant purr of the engines shaking the ship.</p><p class="western">“Let's go outside to see the ship leaving port,” his girlfriend suggests so they find their way out to the sun deck. Jaime loves calling Brienne his girlfriend, because he never before had a proper girlfriend before. And Brienne doesn't mind doing all sorts of girlfriendly things with Jaime, like kissing in public where other people can see them or tying his hair with her hair tie when the wind gets it to his eyes.</p><p class="western">It's rather foggy day at Storm's End so after kissing a little and taking a selfie with his girlfriend they head back inside. Jaime, who has studied ships floor plan extensively when Brienne had a loo break has a solid plan for their 6 hours on board of MS Evenstar.</p><p class="western">✨✨🎤✨✨</p><p class="western">They stroll casually through the corridors until Jaime spots the karaoke bar, called rather tackily “Superstar”. Brienne makes adorable scrunching face when Jaime pulls her into the darkened room full of noise. It's still mid-morning, but there are already rowdy groups of people drinking beer, wine and shots in the darkened room.</p><p class="western">“This is the best way to travel,” grins Jaime happily when a middle-aged woman in a too-short dress steps to a small stage, introduces herself as Lysa, their karaoke-host and then proceeds to screech out a truly horrendous version of <em>The queen took off her sandal</em> to “warm up the crowd”.</p><p class="western">“I'm going to sign us up,” Jaime says to Brienne, just to see her react and is rewarded of her spluttering and going redder than she has ever before. The colour clashes wonderfully with his hoodie she is wearing.</p><p class="western">“You will do no such thing,” Brienne manages to cough.</p><p class="western">“I'm going to sign myself up then,” Jaime announces because he doesn't want to tease her further and goes to an assistant who takes up his name and lets him pick his song. Two people beat Jaime to it, so Brienne and him have to sit through a pretty decent version of <em>Dornishmans wife</em> performed by a man dressed in full black and one truly terrible version of <em>Bear and the Maiden Fair </em>sung by a group of drunken and giggling girls.</p><p class="western">Then Lysa-the-karaoke-hostess calls Jaime to the stage and gives him a full and rather leering once over.</p><p class="western">“Jaime will perform us <em>Rains of Castamere"</em> she announces to the crowd and the group of drunken girls holler and hoot.</p><p class="western">Jaime puts all his heart out to the song and sings it like his uncle Gerion taught him to sing it. “This is a ballad, not a marching song, son,” he remembers Gerion instructing him before Jaime's performance at the school. This time there are no Lannisters sneering at the crowd, only Brienne standing at the back trying not to smile and failing. When Jaime finishes the song the crowd reacts rather well, with cheers and hollers, so that's a win and he takes a bow. He gives the microphone back to Lysa who eyes him with eyes so hungry that Jaime makes a quick escape back to his lovely tall girlfriend with a rush. And because Brienne is his girlfriend he kisses her as soon as he gets to her while the crowd is still clapping to him</p><p class="western">✨✨🛒🍾🧸🛍✨✨</p><p class="western">Next stop on Jaime's to-do list is to visit the supermarket. Brienne, who is happy to escape the dreadful karaoke bar follows Jaime like an innocent lamb to its slaughter. The supermarket takes up two decks from the ship and starts up with a giant perfume section. When the sweet tangy smell of perfumes hits their noses Jaime's sweet lambkin grounds her very big hooves to the floor and tries to resist.</p><p class="western">“We don't need anything,” she baas, but Jaime wraps his arm around her and pulls her closer.</p><p class="western">“That's not the point of shopping, is it, sweetling.” Brienne still frowns adorably but Jaime knows better not to give in now and leads them through the security gates.</p><p class="western">“I just want to have a look. Besides, we have hours to spend, and it's not like we can sit somewhere, can we?”</p><p class="western">They spend some time browsing aftershaves and decidedly ignoring the shop assistants who offer their wrists to smell new perfumes. Why would Jaime want to sniff a wrist scarcely thicker than a noodle when he can make his lovely tall girlfriend blush by putting some aftershave to his neck and making <em>her</em> sniff it.</p><p class="western">Brienne refuses to try on perfumes, but grabs a giant bottle of sunscreen (SPF 100+) and puts it to the basket that one of the assistants hands them. Jaime picks up that aftershave that made Brienne go Lannister-level red on her face and they move forward away from almost toxic clouds of flowery smells.</p><p class="western">Rest of the floor seems to be dedicated to alcohol. Thousands of bottles of expensive liquors -- Ironborn vodka, whisky from Winterfell, cognac and wine from Highgarden and all other possible varieties -- shake and tinkle quietly in sync with the ship's engines.</p><p class="western">It's then when Jaime first notices that the ship sways slightly.</p><p class="western">“We are now out at the open sea,” Brienne tells him with a worried look. “You're not going to get seasick, are you? It would be better to sit down if you are inclined to seasickness.”</p><p class="western">Her worry over him is sweet, and he grabs her hand again and kisses it. “I used to sail as a kid, sweetling. I don't get seasick.”</p><p class="western">They move onwards through all the tinkling bottles and Jaime picks up two bottles of expensive Arbor Red to take Brienne's dad, even if Brienne tries to argue that her dad doesn't care about what wine he drinks. Jaime grabs some more bottles for himself because the prices are really low compared to mainland and loads them to the basket while Brienne watches on with some amusement.</p><p class="western">“Mainlanders,” he hears her mutter when they walk down the stairs to the lower floor.</p><p class="western">The other floor of the supermarket is much more varied. There are clothes, tacky costume jewellery, sunglasses and other knickknacks. Jaime spots the section full of toys and leads Brienne there. He picks up a couple of packages of Legos for Myrcella (he likes building them with her) and spots a huge pile of rather large soft toys.</p><p class="western">He doesn't find a cat softie for Tommen but instead pulls out a giant cuddly lamb from the pile. Brienne who has until now rolled her pretty eyes rather good-heartedly to his antics gets a panicky look at her face.</p><p class="western">“Jaime, you are not considering buying that, are you?” she looks at the lamb like it might bite her. The toy is probably bigger than a small child but much cuddlier and softer so Jaime hugs it.</p><p class="western">“Look how soft it is,” he pushes the lamb to Brienne. Brienne tries to look firm.</p><p class="western">“You said your nephew likes cats, not sheep, so he's not going to like <em>that</em>, Jaime.”</p><p class="western">“It's not for Tommen,” Jaime announces. “It's for you, my lambkin.” Brienne's blue eyes go all wide and she looks petrified.</p><p class="western">“Absolutely not.” Brienne puts the lamb firmly back to its pile and finds a much smaller but equally cuddly ginger cat for Tommen from a different pile.</p><p class="western">Jaime does manage to contraband the lamb back to their shopping cart while Brienne gets distracted by some islander she knows at the candy section. Jaime spots an opportunity and hauls his shoppings to the checkout before she notices. Brienne, who is way too well behaved to cause a scene only looks on with a horrid expression when Jaime piles his purchases to the conveyer belt. There are several bags of candy for his niblings, some booze to take home, booze to take to Tyrion, their things from the perfumery, a horridly ugly coffee mug with I ❤️ Tarth printed on it and of course the giant softie lamb that doesn't fit in any bags that the shop has.</p><p class="western">“You do realise we have to carry all this with us the rest of the cruise?” Brienne looks at the shopping bags with a frown. Jaime hadn't thought about that.</p><p class="western">“Why can't we just drop these to the car?” The toy lamb sits comfortably at his arm.</p><p class="western">“Because the car deck is locked,” Brienne sighs and picks up the shopping bags.</p><p class="western">“Damn. I suppose it will be awkward at the buffet then,” Jaime says and watches Brienne groan.</p><p class="western">✨✨🥗🍝🍰✨✨</p><p class="western">They manage to catch the tail end of their designated buffet time which is probably just as good because the buffet too is horribly crowded.</p><p class="western">Jaime leads Brienne and the Lambkin to their table. Luckily it's right next to the window so he manages to stow away the bags next to the wall and parks the toy on an extra chair.</p><p class="western">Brienne, who has been on ship's buffet before gives out instructions and strategies. They are:</p><ol>
<li>
<p class="western">Don't drink anything alcoholic that comes from a tap.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p class="western">Eat out of order to avoid the crowds.</p>
<p class="western">They have already achieved this one by arriving late when everyone else has already moved on from starters to main courses.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p class="western">You can't eat every food regardless of how much you want to try.</p>
</li>
</ol><p class="western">Brienne is right, of course. The wine that comes from the tap is truly horrible and the beer is not much better. Luckily Brienne has brought them both tall glasses of soda from the fountain.</p><p class="western">The food is actually pretty decent. There is a huge selection of seafood, salads, cold cuts, loaves of bread and all imaginable Westerosi food available and that is not even counting the main courses.</p><p class="western">Jaime manages to finish off two and a half plates before giving up.</p><p class="western">“I always just skip the warm foods altogether,” admits Brienne who as always has a healthy appetite and never leaves anything to the plate. She has finished her third plate and is now nibbling olives from Jaime's.</p><p class="western">“How are people able to eat this much?” Jaime wonders looking around. Near to them is a group of little old Yi Ti ladies who have built huge towers of food to their plates. Apparently they also don't care about the dubious quality of the tap wine and chatter cheerfully with each other while devouring the Towers of Food without any effort or signs of the food coma that presently is taking over Jaime.</p><p class="western">Brienne, who is smart and practical suggests that they take a break before attempting the desserts so they chat a little about Tarth museum and the possibility of getting parts of Valyrian exhibition to there. Jaime's aunt Genna, who is a member of the Trust at the National had been excited about the idea when Jaime suggested it to her and apparently is now constantly on the phone with the curator at the Tarth museum, Brienne's uncle Goodwin.</p><p class="western">“It's the Lannister charm,” Jaime smirks at Brienne. “You never see it coming, you only realise what's happened when you're already knee-deep in it.”</p><p class="western">“Tell me about it,” Brienne laughs and leans closer to kiss Jaime's cheek.</p><p class="western">Jaime basks in the afterglow of her kisses when he piles cake, Higharden cheeses, fruit salads and other desserts to a plate. Brienne, who is the best girlfriend and a total sweetling has in the meanwhile fixed them both coffees and brought the cups to the table. The coffee is surprisingly good and Jaime shares his plate of goodies with Brienne while looking out of the window at Straits of Tarth.</p><p class="western">The best part of the dessert is when a woman who knows Brienne comes over to say hi and Brienne blushes deep red and introduces Jaime as her boyfriend.</p><p class="western">“Everyone on the island will know about you before this week ends,” she grumbles later while Jaime picks up the Lambkin, who desperately needs a proper name, and the rest of their bags before they leave the buffet back to the ship.</p><p class="western">“What do <em>you</em> think about me dating Brienne, Lambkin?” Jaime asks from the toy, who just looks back at him. “Really? Well damn, I don't care about your opinion,” he tries to continue joking but then the floor sways and Jaime's stomach lurches.</p><p class="western">“Urg,” he manages to say and stops. Brienne takes the shopping bags from him and looks down with a concern.</p><p class="western">“You're looking awfully green, Jaime,” she tuts. “We should find you a place to sit before you puke.” There aren't any places to sit, because every chair, bench or window sill if full of other people sitting. Some of them also look quite green.</p><p class="western">“Can we go to our cabin instead?” Jaime sighs. “I'd like to lie down, actually.”</p><p class="western">“We have a cabin?” Brienne's eyes go all wide.</p><p class="western">“Of course we have a cabin, because I booked us one even when you said we don't need one.”</p><p class="western">“Lannister, if we have a cabin then why are we logging these bags around?”</p><p class="western">✨✨🤢🛏✨✨</p><p class="western">Brienne who is strong and capable takes charge of their bags and leads them to their cabin. It's no larger than a closet but it sports a double bed and has a window. Jaime, who is still carrying the lamb, faceplants to the bed and hugs the toy.</p><p class="western">“We're supposed to have A-class cabin, not a broom closet. I think they gave us C-class cabin instead,” he groans and pulls Lambkin closer to him.</p><p class="western">“This <em>is</em> an A-class cabin, dummy. C-class cabins are smaller than your fridge and are below car decks.”</p><p class="western">“That's truly depressing.”</p><p class="western">“The <em>ferries</em> are depressing,” Brienne tells him and takes off his shoes. “Try breathing through your nose,” she advises while shuffling around with their things.</p><p class="western">“I shouldn't have had that third bowl of ice cream,” Jaime moans and only hears amused huff from his sweetling.</p><p class="western">It's little later when a paper cup with amber liquid appears in front of her.</p><p class="western">“It's your fancy booze. Drink up, it will help to settle your stomach.” By the taste of it, it's the horridly expensive bottle of cognac Jaime meant to give his brother, but it does help him to feel better.</p><p class="western">“You know what I really regret,” Jaime asks Brienne when the bed dips and Brienne sits next to him. “We never had a chance to see the jungle gym or the ball pit.” She huffs and then laughs out loud when Jaime continues, “and there was supposed to be a clown in the ball pit. Who makes balloon animals. I wanted a lion. <em>And</em> we missed the bingo.”</p><p class="western">“Why did you even paid for an A-class cabin when you had all these activities planned?”</p><p class="western">“I wanted to have some cruise ship sex,” Jaime groans. He definitely is not in shape for any kind of sexual activities at the moment.</p><p class="western">“It's a ferry, not a cruise ship, Lannister” Brienne laughs and wraps her arm around him. “Try to sleep for a while. I'll wake you up before we arrive.”</p><p class="western">✨✨🏝✨✨</p><p class="western">Later they are outside on the sun deck watching Tarth appear. The weather is much nicer than in the morning; the sun is actually shining and the waters of Tarth are as blue as his girlfriends eyes. Jaime leans his head to Brienne's shoulder and sighs happily.</p><p class="western">“I really had the best of time. I can't wait for the return trip so we can do this all over again.”</p><p class="western">“I have no clue why I like you so much, Lannister,” Brienne sighs and kisses the top of his head. Jaime doesn't know either but he is glad she does so.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Some of you might have this idea about Europe that it's really easy here to travel from one country to another and you might even accidentally stumble to Belgium or something while walking to a nearby cafe and that's pretty much true in Central Europe, but the other truth is that sometimes when you want to travel to your neighbouring country you actually need to take a gods damn ferry and sit hours in some dumb bar and watch drunken tourists to screech karaoke and haul around unreasonable amounts of shitty beer that was bought tax-free from another country but was actually brewed in your hometown. So I've poured a lot of That Mood to this chapter, and you are welcome to it, lol. Don't ask me where I live/used to live, as I like to pretend to be this mysterious creature from Up North while the truth is much more mundane. The ones who recognize the setting can meet me in the market square.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Tarth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some quality time is spent at Selwyn's house.<br/>Last chapter!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, I really didn't realise that the ferry experience is so common around Europe. I counted UK, Ireland, Italy, Greece, Norway and Baltic Sea from the comments among those countries who must suffer the cruise ships when they just want to travel. I feel for you all, lol. I recommend booking a cabin, A-class cabin because B or C class cabins don't have working wifi and you can't browse ao3 at all. Or do what Brienne does, find a seat and sit on it as your life would depend on it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western"> </p><p class="western">Tarth</p><p class="western">When Jaime arrives at Selwyn Tarth's house he gradually comes to realise that the best thing about Tarth is not the ferries but the Tarth family home and Tarth family who lives in that curious old house. The house itself is nothing particular to someone who grew up at a castle. It's rather old, made out of huge blocks of granite, with pretty carvings over the windows. Jaime spots a lion, a bear and a goat before Brienne herds him through the front door. Inside the house it's all warm wood panels, worn stone floors and colourful textiles covering every possible surface.</p><p class="western">Not that he sees much of it before he is swarmed by a large number of Tarths coming to greet them in the hallway.</p><p class="western">First ones to arrive are two children of undetermined gender and age. “Bwee-enne!” screeches one of them happily and wraps themselves around Brienne. “Ellow uncle!” the other one cries before attacking Jaime's foot with a warm and sticky hug.</p><p class="western">The children apparently belong to Brienne's brother and his wife, who follow the little huggers. Gal is almost as tall as Brienne and equally pale and freckled. He huffs at Jaime's offered hand and pulls him to a hug instead. <em>Are they all like that</em>, panics Jaime and apparently yes, they <em>are</em> all like that, because Jaime gets another hug from Myria, Gal's wife. Myria is a short and soft woman with black hair and brown eyes and has similar Dornish accent than Jaime's high school crush Elia had, so Jaime instantly takes a liking to her.</p><p class="western">Selwyn, Brienne's father, is the last one to arrive and gives a crushing hug. Jaime has now received more hugs from Brienne's family than he has got from his own in the last twenty years.</p><p class="western">“My errand heir has returned,” cries Selwyn while looking at Brienne and Jaime gets a feeling that the man is only half-joking.</p><p class="western">“I was here two months ago, dad,” grumbles Jaime's lovely girlfriend but gives her dad a second hug.</p><p class="western">Next, the Tarths swarm Jaime's new car to lug their things into the house. Selwyn, who has hands as big as tennis rackets takes both Jaime's and Brienne's suitcases, while Gal helps with the bag of booze Brienne hands him. Even the children, twins as Jaime has just learnt from Myria, watch nearby with their little eyes going wide as saucers when they spot the Lambkin sitting at the back seat.</p><p class="western">Jaime struggles inwardly at least four seconds before he sighs and unbuckles the toy and hands it to the children.</p><p class="western">“This is for you both,” he tries to sound gracious. “Do you think you can share it?”</p><p class="western">“Yes,” and “No,” are his answers and the twins disappear to inside the house both holding each end of the toy.</p><p class="western">“Did you just give away my Lambkin, Jaime?” Brienne teases Jaime later when they are settled in a pretty little room at the top of the house.</p><p class="western">“I'll buy you a new one, promise,” he groans and pulls her down to the bed with him.</p><p class="western">“I was getting jealous of that thing, honestly.” Her eyes crinkle and there is one freckle on top of her right cheek that moves adorably when she smiles so Jaime kisses it, kisses Brienne's sweet plump lips and nibbles her earlobe. They roll around the bed and grind against each other a little while without any expectations or plans for more, as they are expected downstairs soon, but it's just nice to touch and hold each other. Brienne, always the one with a cool head, is the first to pull away and stand up. She laughs at his grumbling, gives out her hand and hauls him up from the bed.</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">Dinner is livelier and friendlier than any Lannister family dinner Jaime's encountered, even in Genna's house. It's served outside on the patio, on a long table covered in wax cloth and several mismatched tablecloths covered with faded embroidery. Flowers, birds, geometrical patterns and one gnome sitting under a strawberry and eating a sandwich that is upside down.</p><p class="western">The twins are settled at the corner of the table, parents on both sides and Lambkin on its own chair nearby.</p><p class="western">The adults talk about the upcoming Warrior's day weekend and the plans for it. Tomorrow there will be a bonfire on the beach and Selwyn will have a small party for family and friends. On Saturday there will be some festivities in Tarth town, -- “Goodwin can take you to the museum then, Jaime”-- Warrior's Day's Market at Morne later, -- “and I want to show the ruins to Jaime, and the old sept” -- and on Sunday they will travel back home. Back to King's Landing.</p><p class="western">Their visit already feels too short even before it's properly started as there is so much to see and do here, but there is a warmth bubbling in Jaime's belly and it's not caused by Arbour Red they are drinking. A hope that he might come here again; more places can be visited later and that things not done this time will be done next time.</p><p class="western">“I should have brought white wine,” Jaime laments, and Selwyn just smiles, “Next time, Jaime, next time,” like the man just didn't wipe away all the insecurities that Jaime has been harbouring inside him ever since Brienne asked him to come with her to her father's house. Jaime takes Brienne's hand to his and squeezes it and laughs with the others when the twins burst into a giggling fit at the middle of the meal.</p><p class="western">Jaime asks from Myrna how she has ended up at Tarth. There is not much to tell, the woman laughs. She met Galladon at the university, they got married, moved here and now work at a local school in Morne.</p><p class="western">“You two are working together, are you not?” she asks from Jaime and looks between him and Brienne. Gal, who is coaxing one of the twins to eat her potatoes throws a sly “but we already know <em>t</em><em>hat</em>, don't we?” to which Brienne retaliates with a firm “Shut up, idiot!” and a cherry tomato thrown at her brothers head.</p><p class="western">“So how did you two end up dating?” Myrna asks Jaime. Brienne goes cherry red on her face and Jaime steps in before she blurts the truth out.</p><p class="western">“I asked Brienne out.” Brienne smiles, little relieved.</p><p class="western">“Yes,” Gal turns away from the child and measures Jaime with his blue eyes, “but why it took you so long to do it?”</p><p class="western">The truth is easy to share. “It took me quite some time, yes. I needed to pull my head out of my ass first, <em>and </em>then sort my shit out. I did manage to get there in the end, didn't I?” He looks at Brienne who squeezes his hand under the table.</p><p class="western">“Not all of us can meet someone, fall in love and elope within two weeks, Gal,” Brienne says calmly. “It took me far too long to recognize why my heart made this weird jump every time I saw him,” she laughs then and suddenly it's Jaime's heart that makes a weird jump and his eyes start to burn.</p><p class="western">“Brienne,” he manages to croak, and to hide his embarrassment he kisses her cheek, but it's fine, Myrna proposes a toast, glasses are filled with rest of the Arbour red and some juice for the babies, and they toast to the summer, to first dates and to “Brienne and Jaime” and it takes Jaime all his resolve and common sense not to fall on his knees at this very moment and not to beg to be allowed to join this family forever.</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">Jaime wakes up in the morning to the sounds of the children laughing outside. He is alone in the bed but as soon as he opens his eyes, his sweetling comes through the door.</p><p class="western">“Everyone has left the house already,” she announces and jumps to the bed. “Dad and Myrna went fishing hours ago and Gal is taking twins to swim. “Finally alone,” Brienne murmurs against Jaime's neck and doesn't mind at all when Jaime slides his hand inside her shorts and squeezes her butt.</p><p class="western">They fuck slowly this time. Brienne is on top of him, moving her hips in a lazy rhythm, her hands on Jaime's, pinning him down. He reaches up to kiss her tits, oh how he loves her tiny soft titties with rosy nipples and creamy white skin dotted with freckles. Brienne makes a lovely noise when he manages to catch a nipple in his mouth and suck, and her cunt squeezes his cock so he does it again as soon as he can.</p><p class="western">“Brienne”, he wants to tell her something, but his brain is foggy with want so he only babbles about how much he wants her, how much he loves her tight cunt and her sweet plump lips and lovely little breasts. “Jaime,” she moans back and moves faster now, and Jaime meets her hips with his, rhythm building, bodies moving.</p><p class="western">“Brienne, my sweet, my girl,” he calls her when she comes, her cunt fluttering around him, “you're mine, my girl, my love,” he cants and comes too, Brienne's arms wrapped around him, safe and happy.</p><p class="western">***</p><p class="western">Around the midmorning, Brienne sends Jaime outside to wait for Selwyn and Myria from the sea while she prepares lunch for everyone. There's a small table with two chairs at the end of the orchard, facing the sea and Jaime sits down next to a low stone wall covered in moss and ferns. There's a good view down to the dock and blue sea and Jaime should see Selwyn's little boat arriving soon enough.</p><p class="western">He wants to stretch his feet on top of the other chair but finds it occupied. A large green frog is sitting at the middle of the chair and looking Jaime with his beady eyes. He would take a photo of it and text it to Brienne but doesn't find his phone.</p><p class="western">“Hello, frog,” he instead greets the creature who looks at him back with slight contempt.</p><p class="western">It's a lovely calm day and there is nothing he needs to do besides waiting, so Jaime just sits under the apple tree and watches the garden and the sea. Leaves shuffle quietly in the wind. There are toys scattered around the stone path. Jaime spots some foam swords, a naked doll and box of faded Duplos.</p><p class="western">“It's nice here, isn't it?” he asks from the frog who takes a moment thinking before croaking one <em>ribbit </em>back to him. Jaime thinks about the twins napping upstairs with their dad and wonders what it would be like to spend all your summers here with a gaggle of blond children playing under the trees and chasing frogs around.</p><p class="western">“Hey,” he hears and it's his girlfriend, walking down the path a green bottle and two glasses in her hands. She looks around the stone wall, finds a bottle-opener from some hidey-hole and pours them both a glass of amber drink.</p><p class="western">“It's beer. Uncle Endrew brews it.”</p><p class="western">She then wants to sit down, but can't.</p><p class="western">“It's already occupied, sweetling,” Jaime laughs when Brienne stares the frog sitting on the chair.</p><p class="western">“Shoo,” tries Brienne half-heartedly, but the frog does not budge. Stubborn like all the creatures at Tarth.</p><p class="western">“Come and sit in my lap, sweetling,” Jaime tries to lure her. Brienne rolls her pretty eyes, tries to shoo away the frog again, but she is too soft-hearted to do anything else to the little creature and gives up.</p><p class="western">“I'll crush you,” she frowns and lowers her firm butt to Jaime's thighs.</p><p class="western">“No, you won't,” he coos back. Brienne has lovely creamy white thighs and Jaime immediately pushes one hand between them to pet the soft skin. “Shoo,” she tells him, but her heart is not really into it, he can tell.</p><p class="western">“This is nice, isn't it?” he asks Brienne this time.</p><p class="western">“Ribbit,” agrees frog with Jaime again before Brienne can.</p><p class="western">They spend the hour drinking the beer and talking about what kind of catch to expect from Selwyn and Myria. There is overwhelming happiness inside Jaime, and he doesn't think he has ever been so content in his life.</p><p class="western">“Did you bring your phone, sweetling?” he asks Brienne.</p><p class="western">“No, I left it to the kitchen. Why?”</p><p class="western">“We should take a selfie. To have a reminder of this moment.” She turns away from the sea and looks at him. Her nose is covered in freckles and there is a rosy blush on her cheeks. He kisses her, because he wants to and can, and watches the blush go pinker. <em>I love this girl</em>, he thinks and it's not the first time when he thinks it, but it's the first time when he says it to her.</p><p class="western">“I suppose we just have to remember this,” she tells him later and Jaime tightens his arms around her.</p><p class="western">“Always,” he agrees and finds her mouth with his again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That frog was a shipper, lol. And <a href="https://tall-wolf-of-tarth.tumblr.com/post/622990524225323008">here is the tablecloth pattern</a> with the little gnome. How sweet is he?<br/>And I never ever tire writing Tarth and Selwyn's house.</p><p>Some headcanons: Gal teaches sports and Myria teaches Common Tongue and literature. They live at Morne. Gal is currently on parental leave and the leave is two years long at Tarth. The twins must learn to share the Lambkin, but it's hard. Jaime will buy an unreasonably large plush bear to Brienne on their way back home.<br/>ETA one more hc: Gal is younger than Brienne in this fic. Exactly 10 months younger. It’s so damn embarrassing. Brienne and Gal went to school at the same time and shared classes. </p><p> </p><p>And, my sweetlings, I want to thank you all for all the lovely lovely comments and all other support for this fic! I read and reread every comment and I apologize that I'm behind responding to them. This fic has got an overwhelmingly positive response and I'm so happy you all liked it! I didn't plan this out at all when I started writing, thus the lovely big plot holes, but I think I managed to stitch this all together in the end.</p>
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